It is not because my surroundings are unimpressive
It's more because the people are.
I rather read and cook and sleep,
Then be out lying to myself about who I am.
I sleep all night and wake at dawn
Never really sure if I am alive
Or merely a floating stick making its way down the river.
Directed by a current too big to comprehend.
But I know this isn't true.
The sun rising stirs such hope in my chest
that I keep trudging through this
I keep a hold of my ideas of the future
and the possibility that true love does exist
all this time I try not to believe it,
perhaps protecting myself.
The search of love is my quest.
One I committed to, body and mind.
This searching unrest I feel through my bones
Is confirmation of what I am looking for.
I will make my way through this forest of doubts
I will be true to the being that is light and love.
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1 comment:
I find this one very interesting. I am particularly moved by the first eight lines. I think the poem changes in both tone and content from the tenth line on. And actually, I think it becomes a little less interesting for the last twelve lines, a little more clichéd. And especially after the rawness of the beginning it seems kind of like an attempt to mislead or redirect. All this is what makes the ninth line so very fascinating.
"But I know this isn't true".
Literally a negation of the first half of the poem. It feels like an attempt at a self-fulfilling speech act--as if you're trying to make it true just by saying it so conspicuously, monosyllabically and concisely. It is the poem's center of gravity and definitely a fascinating moment.
Anyway, that's how it struck me.
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