What is this circus ride I am on,
up and down
so high, and then so low
If I wasn't so terrified of falling off
I would look around
and sometimes
the butterflies in my stomach
bring elation and immense joy
but when I am falling down,
on the whim of another,
I lose all my senses,
I am tumbling towards the bottom
with an intensity
that is bottomless
Is there a middle, a platform I can rest,
or will this be forever
the somersaulting,
the rushing of air around my face
being alone
Did I choose this ride?
Or did someone push me on it
Do I have a choice?
or am I choice less,
powerless?
because I am honest enough
to know I am not fearless
alas, I will wait for the upswing
to toss me into euphoria
an opium high
a breaking of boundaries
a deep connection to change
Changing everyday
every moment.
High and low
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